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LAST MEETING FOR SCOUTS UNTIL SEPTEMBER

Notes:
This is a monologue poem. It's more fun to tell it in a scary story voice around a campfire.


I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Admission is free, so pay at the door;
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

Early this morning late last night
Two dead soldiers began to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A legless donkey passing by
Kicked both men right in the eye.
It knocked them them over a 10 foot wall
Into a ditch and drowned them all.

A deaf policeman heard their cries
And came and shot those two dead guys.
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man - he saw it too!

Required:
6 to 10 scouts
Notes:
You can add more disasters such as tornado, flood, earthquake if you have more scouts.
Script:
(3 soldiers in a holding cell stage left. In walks the leader of the enemy.)

Leader: You have all been found guilty of spying. You will each be shot by firing squad as soon as the squad arrives.
(leader walks stage right to wait for the squad)

Prisoner #1:: Hey, I know how we can get out of this. Let me go first and follow my lead.
(the firing squad enters stage right)
Leader: First prisoner, take your place!
(Prisoner #1 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad)
Leader: Ready!
Leader: Aim!
Prisoner #1: HURRICANE!
(all the soldiers scurry for cover looking afraid. The prisoner runs offstage. When they realize there is no hurricane, the soldiers line up again)

Leader: Next prisoner, take your place!
(Prisoner #2 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad)
Leader: Ready!
Leader: Aim!
Prisoner #1: TIDAL WAVE!
(all the soldiers scurry for cover looking afraid. The prisoner runs offstage. When they realize there is no tidal wave, the soldiers line up again)

Leader: Next prisoner, take your place!
(Prisoner #3 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad)
Leader: Ready!
Leader: Aim!
Prisoner #1: FIRE!....oh-oh!
(the prisoner falls, being shot by the solders)

 
2, 3, or more unsuspecting volunteers.
2 scouts to run the skit.
a chair.
Preparation:
set the chair center stage.
select your volunteers and have one scout take them back stage where they can not hear what is going on onstage.

Script:
Back stage, the scout tells the volunteers they will be in a contest to get the audience to guess their job. Give each volunteer a different job - racecar driver, weightlifter, horse jockey, newspaper delivery boy, ... whatever you can think of that might be interesting and can be done sitting on a chair.
Each volunteer is sent onstage, one at a time, to get the audience to guess their job.

Meanwhile, onstage, the other scout is telling the audience (quietly) that the chair is really a toilet seat and we'll see how each of the volunteers use it.

Call out the first contestant and see what happens. When the laughs die down, have him stop and get the next contestant.

 

All cubs/scouts but one stand in line. Lead cubs/scouts is in front or to one side.

Leader: For the next ten seconds we will conduct a test of the emergency broadcast system.

(line of scouts all make Beeeeeeeeeeep sound until the leader raises his hand.)

Leader: Thank you. This concludes the test of the emergency broadcast system. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have heard...
(line of scouts scream in panic and run around)

Here is a more complicated variation :

This Skit is meant for Cubs or Scouts.


Needed:
Leader (the victim)
4 to 10 scouts
A trophy or certificate (of bravery)

Preparation:
Give the trophy to the unsuspecting Leader telling him that you'll ask him to present it to the scout after this skit.

Have BILLY the brave scout sitting in the audience.
Have all the other scouts offstage.
Script:

MC: Scouts, Parents, and Guests - welcome. We have with us today a very special scout. Billy, please come up here. This young man has proven his bravery through trials and challenges most of us would never dream of let alone live through.
Billy is afraid of nothing! He has traveled through Transylvania during a full moon, camped out alone in a cemetery, and even kissed a girl once!

MC: I'm sure some of you probably don't believe anyone could be so brave so I've rounded up some of the most gruesome monsters that have ever walked the face of the earth. Billy will demonstrate his bravery for you.

MC: Here comes DRACULA - a blood-thirsty fiend from the old country!
(Dracula glides up to Billy and raises his arms about to attack.)
(Billy smiles and shakes his hand.)
(Dracula dejectedly shuffles off behind Billy while werewolf is coming on.)

MC: And now, a foul werewolf from England - a ferocious beast of the night!
(Werewolf charges in, growling and clawing the air.)
(Billy yawns as he looks at the werewolf.)
(werewolf whimpers away behind Billy as mummy comes in.)

MC: The mummy! an undead creature from Egypt!
(Mummy walks in with arms straight ahead, groaning and mumbling.)
(Billy checks his wristwatch and looks bored.)
(mummy shuffles away as next monster comes in.)

You can use zombie, King Kong, Gollum, ... but Billy is friendly or bored with them all.
Finally all the monsters are gathered behind Billy.

MC: As you can see, nothing scares this bravest of scouts, not even the most hideous monsters of the world. And, to recognize Billy's bravery, our leader, Scouter ______, will now present him with a small trophy (or certificate). Good job, Billy!

(Billy needs to keep looking out at the audience and smiling. As the leader gets close to him and holds out the trophy, Billy turns from the audience to look at him. Then with a terrified look on his face he runs away from the leader screaming. All the monsters and MC also run away yelling, screaming, and moaning as they leave the stage.)

Invisible bench skit
For any number of Cub Scouts
Cub Scout 1 starts by sitting on an invisible bench.

Cub Scout 2 says: "What are you doing?"

Cub Scout 1 says: "Sitting on an invisible bench, would you like to join me"

Cub Scout 2 says: "Sure"

Cub Scout 3 says: "What are you doing?"

Cub Scouts on bench say: "Sitting on an invisible bench, would you like to join?"

Cub Scout 3 says: "Sure"

Continue with cub scouts 4, 5, 6, etc.

Last cub scout says: "What are you doing?"

Cub Scouts on bench reply: "Sitting on an invisible bench."

Last cub scout says: "No you're not!.... I sold it last week!".

Cub Scouts on bench fall to the floor as if the bench is no longer there.

Lemonade from Florida Skit
A skit for any number of Scouts

The setup: A scout is selling lemonade.

 Scout selling lemonade: "Lemonade, 10 cents for a glass of lemonade".

 Scout 1: "I'll have a glass", (mimes drinking lemonade);after he drinks the lemonade, "This is the best lemonade I've tasted, where's it from?"

Scout Selling Lemonade: "It's from Florida", "Lemonade, 10 cents for lemonade"

 Scout 2: "I'll have some", (mimes drinking lemonade)"This is better than my mom's, where's it from?"

Tiger Scout Selling Lemonade: "It's from Florida"

Repeat for any number of Scouts.

 Scout selling Lemonade: "Hmmm, looks like I need more lemonade....Here! Florida! Here! Florida!

Scout acting as a dog comes along and pretends to pee in pitcher.

 Scout selling Lemonade: Awwww...THANKS, Flor-i-DA!"

This is a great one for the Cubs around the holidays...

All the Cubs are standing in a straight line.

The Cubs at one end of the line announces "Silent Night Begins!"

All cub scouts stand perfectly still and quiet.

After about 15 to 30 seconds, the cub scout at the opposite end of the line announces "Silent Night Ends!"

All Cubs go running around, screaming, and yelling.

The Echo Skit A skit for any number

Any number of Scouts/Cubs are on stage, one or two Scouts/Cubs are positioned off stage or behind the audience.

Scouts/Cub 1 announces that there is a great echo where they currently are and says "Let's try it..." and shouts "Chicken Soup!"

Scouts/Cubs off stage echo "Chicken Soup!"

Scouts/Cub 2 says "Let me try...Bananas!"

Scouts/Cubs off stage echo "Bananas!"

Scout/Cub 3 says "That was cool...Eagles!"

Scouts/Cubs off stage echo "Eagles!"

and so on until you get to the last boy scout...

Last Scout/Cub shouts "BalONey!"

No Echo

Last Scout/Cub says "Hmmm let's try that again...BalONey!"

No Echo

The last Scouts/Cub says "Let's try something else....Scouter (leader's name) is a great Scouter!"

Scouts/Cubs  offstage say BalONey!"